I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
last night I used snow as a chaser
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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