rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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