rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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