Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont even know how to be here
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
