he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
