U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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