Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
