Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
