he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
