White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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