I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
