Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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