I'm eating all of the evidence.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
