Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
