"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize