508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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