...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
