you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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