Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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