Farmville is her only friend.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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