You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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