i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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