So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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