so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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