I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dick very happy bro
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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