I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.