just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Operation Purity has been aborted
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
