Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
