Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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