we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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