I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
