You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.