The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
