A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.