I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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