Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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  (617): a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo. http://tfl.nu/rlno
  Replies (8) Good night (1150) Bad night (812)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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  (269): just do him I won't tell jon (1-269): um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore http://tfl.nu/l9xs
  Replies (7) Good night (1033) Bad night (2703)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers

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  (651): we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers http://tfl.nu/z5gf
  Replies (43) Good night (6634) Bad night (843)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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  (757): I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it. http://tfl.nu/htjg
  Replies (10) Good night (3221) Bad night (1364)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (2489)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

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  (817): He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round http://tfl.nu/7y9k
  Replies (18) Good night (8405) Bad night (1124)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me

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  (416): this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me http://tfl.nu/7rt7
  Replies (9) Good night (3273) Bad night (890)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot

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  (757): Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot http://tfl.nu/bsih
  Replies (6) Good night (1274) Bad night (770)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.

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  (304): I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing. http://tfl.nu/fjwm
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (1139)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (2090) Bad night (777)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (19) Good night (2182) Bad night (599)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  ROADTRIP.

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  (405): Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak. (1-405): ROADTRIP. http://tfl.nu/2zv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1695) Bad night (529)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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  (480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (938)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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  (814): Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud. http://tfl.nu/jy38
  Replies (6) Good night (461) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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  (716): oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear (1-716): The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear http://tfl.nu/5vws
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (464)

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