did you get engaged???
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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