I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize