I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
