butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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