I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
