I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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