i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
