had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
