well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize