I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
