I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
