I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
