She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
