last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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