I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
