We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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