you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
