so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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