He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bring money and cleavage
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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