I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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