peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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