We're facebook friends in real life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
