Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
