Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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