lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
