I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
