Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
should my penis look like a turkey
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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