Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
