After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
