What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
