how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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