Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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