So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
