it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
