I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
