I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
