just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
